Family reunification has become a main focus for most if not all child welfare agencies. A lot of agencies have gotten tunnel-vision with this and it seems to be the only goal that a lot of people involved child welfare are even looking at for the children. Yes, children most definitely need family reunification when it is the best thing for them.

Let’s be honest and open about all of this. The overall picture of the family situation and the abuse that the children have suffered needs to be part of this decision.If the child welfare agency has dealt with... more

For the most part, foster parents decide to foster to help children in need. Some foster parents know going in that they want to adopt, and that may be the only reason they have chosen to foster. Some foster parents are blessed to adopt more children.

Some people are concerned that foster parents are fostering in the hopes to adopt a child are not looking at what is best for the children. When the truth is, that in some situations (referred to as legal risk or at risk placement) the caseworkers will look for a foster to adopt placement for the foster children if it looks like the children will be placed... more

Marriah, a foster child has graduated high school and now is working towards a future. She has experienced more than other children her age. She and four of her sisters were placed in foster care in 2001. Two sisters were adopted and one is now living with the biological mother. Marriah aged out of the foster care system and is now living with her biological mother.

She has dealt with a lot of anger towards her mom because of the family situation. Having two of her children adopted was a wake up call to her mother.

The foster care agency that Marriah was involved with started a new program for foster children... more

Foster Care: Empathy and Reality (continued)

So, it came to the point, I stop trying to involve them in what was happening in their daughter’s life. What was truly heartbreaking was that they did not ask about her accomplishments or happeings in her life.

I did still have empathy but I also realized that they had to want to change. People have to see the problems to change and the majority of biological parents do not see it. A lot of these parents are living and parenting the only way they know how. Given the opportunity to change for the sake of their children they do not. This... more

In a the blog “Who Pays the Price?” a question was brought up having empathy and understanding for the birth or biological parents that have children in foster care or lost them to the system. The reality of what these children have endured is a lot to deal with for them and the foster parents.

I think there is a difference in empathy for the birth parents and disliking them, than the reality of some foster children’s lives, abuse, lack of concern, abandonment, etc. I believe most foster parents have empathy for the biological parents even when these same people do not show their own children empathy. ... more

Some people think or believe that foster parents are waiting, hoping, praying that the biological parents mess up or choose not to follow their plan to get their children back. If this was the case, then foster parents would not be willing to take foster children short term (2 or 3 weeks) or until kinship placement is worked out.

For the most part, I believe most foster parents do it for the children. Yes, I do know there are a few bad ones that do it for the money. I would think there would be a more involved way to help biological parents with counseling, teaching parenting classes, etc. if that was your goal.

Child welfare's goal is to assist the parents in receiving... more

I have discussed some problems with foster children concerning kinship placement, or family reunification. Now I want to discuss how to protect foster children and how to improve the success of kinship placement or family reunification.

We have to be honest about some parent’s lack of parenting ability. Putting your bleeding toddler back to bed after taking a serious fall because you are sleepy is unthinkable. Did the toddler’s interest lay along with the interest of the mom? She did place... more

First, please understand that I support some family reunification even with foster children but am also realistic. Meaning that I realize there are a number of foster children that should not be part of it or for it to even be part of their plan. Again it should only be about what is best for the foster children and not the parents.

Yes, family reunification or kinship placements should be an option, but not the only option. In some cases it may not be in the best interest of the child. When family reunification is the right choice for the children then it can be a great, wonderful tool for all involved.

I have been told by others that problems with failed family reunification,... more

We have to stop looking at family reunification and kinship placements with starry eyes, and not evaluating placements before placing a foster child there. We are placing children right back in harm's way by preserving families at all cost. The cost is high. Foster children continue to be abused, and some will die when placed in kinship placements or family reunification.

These children are living in difficult, sometimes deadly situations on a daily basis. Thinking that all families can be one big happy family is a pie in the sky idea, and it is not pratical. We have to be realistic that family reunification will not be the answer for all families, or even a large part... more

Biological mothers choosing to take drugs while pregnant have had a great impact on my family as both adoptive and foster. I am raising one “meth” adopted toddler and fostering a toddler girl that we are in the process of adopting. This week we were hit with the fact the doctors believe that she has some form of autism. Add that to her being a “meth” baby as the doctor stated that she is a high risk adoptive placement and will have some major issues as she gets older. This is not something any parent wants to hear.

I look back in my rear view mirror and see my two beautiful toddler daughters, feeling so overwhelmed with different emotions. I look in their faces knowing that the... more