I am sitting in the waiting room looking around at the many people coming in and out of the area. This is a busy place this morning. The reason I am here, I talk about in my personal blog but suffice it to say, "I have a child in surgery." Sitting here has offered me time to think about the foster parents who voluntarily take children who have medical needs and sign up for a lifestyle of hospitals and doctor offices. I guarantee, this is not for the faint of heart. Yet, there are many children who need that person to step in and take over the role of mother/father AND advocate AND semi-medical professional. My middle son fell in that category. At… [more]
I am snuggled up on the sofa with two of my favorite people. It is just that kind of day- the snow is falling and wind blowing. It is cold. So the family is reading, blogging, watching, puzzling and cooking. Everyone is at their respective 'favorite' activity. I can't think of a better way to spend a long and lazy Sunday. It's the lazy days that get me thinking about how lucky I am to be where I am. My kids are not actually all my own, I have some on loan at this point. I am trying to work at capturing these moments in my heart because I know that some of my kids will not always be here. That is one of… [more]
Since we have 3 (and quite often 4) "littles" in our house and most people only have one at a time, folks are always asking me what I feed them. It is a bigger process than having one or two, but I think I have come up with a good system. Now if I can just come up with a good system for keeping up with the dishes! The basics are as follows:
- Breakfast is a protein (which may be only milk), a grain and a serving of fruit.
- Lunch is a protein and/or a dairy, a grain, 1 or 2 veggies and a fruit
- Dinner is a protein plus milk, 2 veggies, and a grain.
- Snacks are crackers (saltines, goldfish), cheese, popcorn, nuts, yogurt, boiled
I took myself to the movies last night. I should have been working. I should have been blogging... It is true. I sat down at my computer in order to complete many necessary things and ended up at the movies by myself surrounded by a gallon tub of popcorn and an iced soda. It was wonderful. I would recommend it to any of you who have dedicated your lives to children. I have to tell the truth here. We are among friends here, right? I left a sink full of dishes and the children frozen burritos to throw in the microwave. I kicked my way passed the many loads of laundry that inhibited my exit, kissed each child while firmly stating, "Don't hurt… [more]
One of my main goals as a parent is to motivate my children to be independent, being able to fend for themselves when the need arises. This desire springs partly out of the fact that I do home school my children, which means they are with me all of the time. The other part of me that encourages independence is its prominence in my own personality. I am an independent. I value freedom. When fostering a child, a lot of freedom for the parent is lost. As I talked about in an earlier post, foster children come with various degrees of baggage, all that must be handled with a delicate touch. This takes time, effort and sacrifice. When my middle son came to us… [more]
One of the biggest struggles I have with foster care is finding psychiatrists or other mental healthcare for foster children. Finding a mental healthcare person that takes Medicaid can be a chore in it’s self. I have also learned that one psychiatrist most likely will not work with all of your foster children or they may only work with set ages. Foster parents need to be prepared for a placement that may have some mental health issues. Trying to manage finding help while a foster child or the family is having a crisis is only going to make a difficult situation that much more difficult. I was looking at some old paperwork and business cards, and was quite surprised to see how… [more]
Most foster parents understand that medication is not an answer to the foster children's problems or behaviors. The truth is that you cannot begin to address or even have the children start to process their past abuse and neglect until they have some sort of control of their behaviors. When I started foster care, I was very opposed to giving a child medication to sleep. A one year old baby girl was placed with us that was a drug baby, born addicted. She lived her first year in a crib moving from one hotel to another one without contact or being held. She had major problems and behaviors including not sleeping. She might nap for maybe two hours in a twenty four hour period. She had a behavior and… [more]
This topic can put people on the opposite sides of the fences quickly. Over time and with experience, I have changed my mind on this subject. There is great concern on how many foster children are taking psychotropic drugs and other medications. There is not a clear cut and simple right or wrong answer to this concern. First, I do understand there are foster children on medications that probably do not need them. Not every foster child needs medications. I have dealt with quite a few foster children without medications. The numbers of foster children that are taking psychotropic drugs and other medications compared to other children (meaning the ones living in a safe home without abuse) are alarming and shocking. How can you compare children that have endured sexual… [more]
Dealing with this disorder can be challenging and create some obstacles that a parent will have to learn to work around. Another part of this that a person may not think of, is when the child gets sick, he or she have may not tell you, or react as other children since he or she does not feel pain. When Beth has a sore throat, she will start touching her neck when it gets bad and real swollen, so this will cue me that she is sick. Sadly, these children that suffer from this probably do get sicker than other children before we realize they are sick. I also had a little boy that the only way I knew he had a sore throat was after… [more]
There are major problems with this disorder. One problem is that when a person does not feel pain, then he or she does not realize he or she is hurt, which can be a dangerous thing. The second problem is that this disorder can lead a person to have behaviors that are more risky than others because he or she does not have the fear of getting hurt. My doctor said that everyone should be made aware of a child that suffers from this disorder. Since he or she could take a big fall and break a bone or seriously hurt him or herself, continue playing and even cause more damage to his or herself. As a parent, this alone can be a scary thought to… [more]