Older Children in Foster Care

Sometimes on mornings like this I just want to crawl back into bed and sleep for another three or four hours. Doesn't that sound good? Yet, I know that there is a lot of work that must be done in this house, the lawn and with the kids. I know that my responsibilities for today alone could easily require 30 hours to complete. In lieu of all that I must do, I sit here on this fine morning and blog. Makes sense to me! Responsibility and respect for those under my care keeps me on track. There are many things that I would rather not do. I had to fold and put away the laundry this morning. I did not want to. Some… [more]

We have lost our sunshine. All of those posts about how beautiful it was outside and how happy I was that summer had come early this year- we are supposed to get snow by the end of the week. I had to laugh at myself for how downhearted that made me feel. I should expect this type of weather but somehow every year it sideswipes me and leaves me feeling as though someone took away my birthday. Perhaps that general feeling of desperation comes from the fact that when it is cold, the kids are inside more. I know that sounds terrible but it is so true. When they are outside, they make their messes out there. They work and play outside… [more]

I heard the saddest news yesterday when I was talking with a local third grade school teacher. She said that out of the 21 kids that she had in her class- 10 of them read at a first grade level. I really had to pity her. She is required to teach these children third grade material when over half of her class is not able to functionally read. This is not good. The area that she teaches is a lower income area. There are many children who are in and out of foster care in the town. Even with all of those reasons, my heart was still affected. These kids deserve better. That is where the foster families that are dedicated come… [more]

I have found myself in a difficult position that greatly resembles the situation many people who are involved in foster care are in. In order to bring a child into your home that you have no history with, you either have to have the patience of a saint or the ability to take things as they come. I do not lay claim to either of those traits so I am struggling. I wish it were different. I wish that I could say that I can open my home to anyone for an extended period of time and enjoy it. This is not the case. I am not patient. I get nervous when things change. Many people involved with fostering feel the same way… [more]

It is nice to sit tonight. It seems that our family is busier now than it ever was. Sometimes I think about pulling out of some of the kid's activities just to get a little free time but then I think that in four years the oldest two will grow out of their activities and move on (and perhaps out.) It is hard to believe that the boys have gone from the 'twins' to young men. When my middle child (whom I refer to as Orange Shoe Guy OSG in other blogs,) came he was a busy, fun-loving kid. He brought great joy to the family. Yet, he came with his own issues. He was a premature baby- born at 30 weeks… [more]

Lately the news media here in central Texas has been focusing on the issue of kids aging out of foster care.  One statistic is that while foster (or former foster) children in Texas get a free college education in any state school, only 3% take advantage of that opportunity.  More pressing, one out of 4 kids who age out of foster care are homeless within one year.  That is a shocking statistic. The news media foists the blame squarely on Child Protective Services or uncaring foster parents.  Reporters blame the state for not making sure these kids get access to transitional programs and ultimately succeed.  It is a little less straightforward than that.  Most of these reports are failing to look at… [more]

One of the best things about summer is the extra time that it allows for reading. My family has always been avid readers and continues the tradition of sitting down on those long hot afternoons and enjoying a good book. There is nothing more rewarding to this mother than seeing the desire on my children's face for a good book. At the summer reading program last week, I met up with a fellow foster care mother. She and I were talking about the importance of reading for a child and how difficult it was to figure out how to make reading enjoyable for the children who come 'through' her home. She believes (as I do) that in order to be successful, each child… [more]

I have a summer project for all of us foster parents to do. I know you are thinking, "Wow, a summer project. Just what I needed. I have nothing else to do..." I wonder though, if it is something that can be done in the little extra snippets of time? I will backtrack here and tell you that when my son first came to our house as a foster child [adopted now,] he came with an envelope of pictures. In it was about fifteen pics. Pictures of him with Santa for the first time, pictures of him on Halloween. There were all of the major holidays and milestones in that envelope. It was great. I have thanked that foster mom (in my head)… [more]

I am blessed to be able to write about foster care on a day in May. That may seem interesting to some on you and I can see you shaking your head and muttering, "What is she talking about? Why would she feel blessed particularly in May?" Before you get any further in your concerns over my sanity, I will tell you that May is National Foster Care Month. That is so exciting to me and I do feel blessed to be part of a movement that supports children who are waiting for forever families from the foster care system. They are good. They are deserving. They are simply, children. There are so many ways that you can get involved in foster care. The most obvious… [more]

It is no surprise to the foster parent when the child that they have brought into their home comes with baggage, those things that require extra time, care and advocacy. The many years of fostering have prepared most parents for the good, bad and the ugly when it comes to accepting new children yet often the difficulty is unknown and unseen. Underlying emotional issues can be triggered by the child's move to their new location. They may be moving into a different growth period of their lives and that can trigger anger and other emotional responses. What does the foster parent do when a child who is brought into their home has unidentified problems? The first order of business would be to involve the… [more]