Calling Out the Greats

September 30th, 2012
Posted By: on Foster Care

1207125_promiseI think that one of the most amazing people I have ever had the privilege of watching was a foster mother who intentionally opened her life to foster teens in her area. I have never seen a  woman so willing to deal with the issues and baggage that a teen brings home in order to change a life. This woman used to tell me that her goal was to ensure that the teenagers in her care were given the opportunities that they needed for success. She not only made sure that they got the services that they needed, she also sat with them and made sure that their fully understood their responsibilities. This was good for the teens in her care because… [more]

Offering Change

August 28th, 2012
Posted By: on Foster Care

1361797_student_1I am not certain how many children have started school again but I am guessing that many of your children have or will within the next week. School is such a great time. I have always enjoyed learning and assume that my children do as well. It always breaks my heart to hear a child say that they hate school. Yet, a lot of foster children are in this predicament. The lack of stability in their lives has left large gaps in their ability to learn and they have lost hope in themselves. Foster parents see this every day. The children that come in their homes are plagued with poor school performance. They do not seem to have the capacity to handle the… [more]

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Touching the Life of a Teen

June 27th, 2012
Posted By: on Foster Care

1095865_happy_time_1I am sitting in a very hot room waiting for a pack of teenagers to head my way. I am their teacher. I look forward to every moment of that teaching time but I have to admit, I am relishing the quiet of this room to collect my thoughts before I am overtaken. Teens are an interesting bunch. They have so much energy and a certain power that resides in their youth. I think that is why many people covet the teen years and wish them back. If the teen years are good, they are very good. If they are not- they are terrible. This is where foster teens struggle. They are in what some would call the prime of their lives and… [more]

The Residue of Anger

May 21st, 2012
Posted By: on Foster Care

1192051_screamThere is a lot of difficulty for children in the area of competition. This is obvious by the way that bullying is on the rise. It is intrinsic to people to want to win or be the chosen one. Foster children are the leaders of the pack in this arena. They struggle with feelings of inadequacy and inferiority. They need to control their situations and the easiest way is by winning or being on top. This, of course, can not always be and is difficult for parents to deal with because with the loss comes anger. That anger is often misdirected at the parents of the home and chaos erupts. What is a foster parent's role when dealing with a child that is… [more]

I Get to Talk and People Will Listen

April 14th, 2012
Posted By: on Foster Care

1339425_loudspeakerI am blessed to be writing you today and telling about a unique experience that I am getting. In May, I will be giving a speech/workshop on adoption and foster care/adoption. This is so exciting for me as it is certainly my passion. I have been planning in my head what information I want to pass along- the list is long. When I think about the foster care system, I think of children who deserve a normal life and the parents that make it their life calling to ensure that. I think of giving until there is no more to give and often seeing no results for all of the labor. Yet, that is only one side of the coin. Foster care offers… [more]

Dealing with Medical Issues

March 21st, 2012
Posted By: on Foster Care

1080174_stethoscope_1I am sitting in the waiting room looking around at the many people coming in and out of the area. This is a busy place this morning. The reason I am here, I talk about in my personal blog but suffice it to say, "I have a child in surgery." Sitting here has offered me time to think about the foster parents who voluntarily take children who have medical needs and sign up for a lifestyle of hospitals and doctor offices. I guarantee, this is not for the faint of heart. Yet, there are many children who need that person to step in and take over the role of mother/father AND advocate AND semi-medical professional. My middle son fell in that category. At… [more]

A Void Look and a Tired Heart

February 18th, 2012
Posted By: on Foster Care

1158464_girl_smiling__4Have you ever noticed that some children have very tired eyes? I have and I always wonder what is going on in their lives that makes those little eyes so very sad and worn. I am a people watcher- it is my curse. I watch young people, older folks and kids- all of the time. I thrive on detail and enjoy gathering the 'intel' that comes with simply observing those around me. Freaks you out a little, huh? No, I am not currently watching you! Really though, I have noticed that many foster children have the most void look on their faces and through their eyes. I am not certain if it is a direct result of the trauma of disruption that they… [more]

From Negative to Positive

December 22nd, 2011
Posted By: on Foster Care

1145696_presents_for_christmasI remember Christmas at my house. It was very hard. I was a child that was not a foster child but maybe should have been. There were a tremendous amount of issues that inhibited a normal life at our house. I think that is why I focus so fully on making sure that the holidays are casual but busy. The casual comes from trying to help everyone focus on the reason for the season and the busy? That just comes with the territory. It's like a zoo around here. This time of year is a difficult one for foster children. There is so much hurt and want in their lives. Amidst the hustle and bustle of the holidays, they miss the people who are important… [more]

In Their Shoes

November 20th, 2011
Posted By: on Foster Care

babyinbasket-clipart-graphicsfairy007When a child first comes to us, I talk  to the social worker about parental preferences; we talk about clothes, their hair and their skin care. When the Littles first came, they  let me know that we were allowed to cut the baby's hair short, but that their mother liked the oldest boy's curls.  The three kids had been in two separate homes and both the former foster moms pointed out to me which clothes their mother had purchased for them.  At the time, we had weekly visits.  I always put the kids in those clothes for the visits and did the little girl's hair the way her foster mom told me her mother liked it. This drove my friends and family crazy. I… [more]

Future Legacy

November 18th, 2011
Posted By: on Foster Care

813780_thumbs_upIt is nice to sit tonight. It seems that our family is busier now than it ever was. Sometimes I think about pulling out of some of the kid's activities just to get a little free time but then I think that in four years the oldest two will grow out of their activities and move on (and perhaps out.) It is hard to believe that the boys have gone from the 'twins' to young men. When my middle child (whom I refer to as Orange Shoe Guy OSG in other blogs,) came he was a busy, fun-loving kid. He brought great joy to the family. Yet, he came with his own issues. He was a premature baby- born at 30 weeks… [more]