A reader posed a question to me after reading a blog I wrote for my daughter on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. The blog was a reminder that racism and prejudice are alive and well in today’s world. I suggested that it is up to us parents, to change the world’s thinking, at home one child at a time. We cannot allow our children to make racist comments, repeat, or even listen to racist jokes at home. Educate your children about judging a person by his or her heart, actions, and words, instead of by the color of skin.

Here is the readers comment.

Question... more

Transitioning foster children back to their family home is a difficult process for everyone involved. Regardless of their ages, the children will act out if they have been in the foster home for more than a few weeks. The way they act out will depend on their maturity level. Younger children may start throwing temper tantrums and have difficulty sleeping at night that may include nightmares. If the child was recently potty trained, it could be undone by the transitioning process. All children tend to treat their foster parents with increasing disrespect, as their return... more

The post of “Colorado Pass Bill - Helping Siblings in Foster Care” has brought up a few questions that I would like to address.

Is this a trend? Are other states following suit with laws about the rights of foster siblings to see each other?

Some states are trying to assure that foster children are able to see their siblings. Colorado is the only state that I am aware that has passed any kind of law or legislation to assure that foster... more

House Bill 1006 has passed in Colorado that will help foster children that have siblings in different foster homes and also when a sibling ages out of foster care. It is not uncommon for foster children to be separated in foster care. In some areas, foster siblings can find themselves separated by a number of miles making visits difficult and more likely not to happen.

In these situations, siblings are the only family that these foster children may have. A lot... more

There are children in this country that do not have the opportunity for a childhood. Most children coming into foster care have not had the luxury of a childhood. They do not know how to be a child. Sadly these children are left with adult responsibilities.

Children as young as 5 years old are left to care for their younger siblings. The older child becomes the caregiver and the provider. I fostered one child that would care of his mother when she was shooting up drugs. He was left to take the needle out of his mother’s arm, wipe off the blood and remove the tourniquet.... more

First and foremost foster parents are just caring for children in a tragic situation when they are placed in the foster home. We do not go searching for children to parent. Where would the foster children be without the foster parents and homes? They would be living in shelters and orphanages and I have heard horror stories from foster children that have spent time in shelters. There are some foster children that are in care that are sexual predators, some are very violent and care about no one but themselves. A number of foster children are in and out of juvenile... more

For some this can seem like a silly question, but the truth is that people have different views on this. For the foster parents it is a natural thing to bond and build a relationship with their foster children. It is natural to feel a deeper bond with some foster children than others.

A few caseworkers are concerned or do not want bonds to develop between the foster parents and children. I personally have dealt with one such caseworker. She viewed foster parenting as baby sitting which it is far from that. I do not believe foster children should be forced or pushed into bonding, or having a relationship with their foster parents.

It is natural for foster children to want... more

Below you will get a few ideas on bonding activities with your foster children. The activities do not need to be time consuming. They should be non-threatening for the children.

You are working towards your foster child feeling comfortable talking to you and giving her a positive experience of a family togetherness. You may not see a sudden change with her. The changes tend to be gradual.

Do not choose things that your foster child does not enjoy doing. This can be more negative than positive. You want this to be a positive experience allowing you to connect with her.

Reading books together can bring closeness and allow some bonding. Even elementary children... more

When children are not cared for and their needs are not met, it causes them not to trust people. You have to trust people to bond with them. Every child can have different degrees of bonding or attachment issues. When a child has major attachment issues she can be labeled Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). Some children struggle with this their entire life. This disorder affects the entire family.

We had fostered a toddler that spent her life in a crib to the point of having a flat head. When she was fed, the bottles were propped up in the crib. Having her diaper... more

Children that come into foster care have lacked having an adult interact with them. When foster children are placed into a foster family where there will be a lot of interaction with adults, it can be very scary for them.

These children do not know what it is like to sit down and have a family dinner alone every night. Getting up and going to school for them may have been a choice, and now they have a foster parent take them to school daily. Family outings, game night, church, and all the other family things can be a lot of foster children to adjust to. It can be very overwhelming for children to be thrown into a family life that they have never experienced before. Bonding... more