There will be some major adjusting for your children as you start your family journey of foster care. Your children need to feel part of the process and part of the decision making. Your children are the ones that are really giving up and losing the most. They are giving up space of their home, sharing parents, family, time, finances and possessions. In reality they are giving up a lot of control to a child they know nothing about.

Now after saying all that, I do believe it can be a positive experience for your child or children. I will talk about our personal experience with this.

Our daughter, Allie, was seven years old when we started this process. We talked with... more

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We fostered two brothers for over a year both were mentally retarded, one was PDD and one was autistic. This was not anything new to us because my husband and I have worked with special needs children. This was a major, major adjustment for others. Some just could not accept it, mainly I believe they did not how to act or to deal with the differences. We took a family vacation to the Texas Gulf and planned on placing the boys in respite. With more challenging kids, you have a very difficult time finding someone to keep them, which we did. The day before leaving for a week at the Gulf, we had nobody to keep the boys (respect does not always work out). So, we... more

We always wanted and expected our foster child to be treated as our own children were. IC: Birthday cards and birthday celebrated. To be included during the Christmas celebration. Not expect us to put our children into respite care. Include them at family gatherings - holidays, family reunions, etc. Excepting the children calling them Aunt, Uncle, Grandma, etc Just include them as part of my family, in day to day life.

I had to learn not expect so much from others. It does not mean it does not bother me at times. I have learned to give a little and realize that I may have to take care that my foster children are included. I thought everyone would... more

I had wondered why I had connected in some way to this mother. I felt something that I had not with other bio mothers. I truly wanted this mother to change her life for her daughter, love her enough to do that. I am not saying that I wanted my other foster children mothers to fail. This was just so different. I felt that I was looking into what could have been. I will try and explain. I was adopted as a baby with my half sister. CPS was going to remove me after I was born due a lot of reasons. My bio mother was involved with drugs, men, alcoholic, and no telling what else. People were doing drugs, etc in the house that her children lived. The older children (siblings and cousins) were... more

To be honest I was sitting in the parking lot (trying to calm my nerves before going inside) and watched my foster daughter’s bio mother escorted from a police car by four police officers. She is known for running. Watching this brought tears to my eyes. I was doing visits with the bio parents for the past 10 months, so I had come to know them somewhat. I guess I felt emotional for a number of reasons. This was child number three that the bio mother was losing. The bio mother was a product of her environment. Meaning, that when her mother is a drug addict and dealer, she didn’t know the first thing about being a mother. She never had a mother. I am not making excuses for her behavior. Personally,... more

Foster care is hard and demanding experience. It is selfless, not a money making deal. At times, it can be misunderstood and others can be very unappreciative. People asking how much do you get paid for him or her. I have three children and a lot of people thinks that my children are put in harms way and that they are at a disadvantage (meaning loss of time, sharing home and belongings, expense, etc.) because of fostering. This is a decisions that I feel it’s right for my family. Yes, the concerns that others have may be realistic. Our 10 year old foster daughter flooded the bathroom while taking a shower and did not tell anyone. My daughter goes skipping into there to take a shower... more

What a huge and life changing decision.

Foster care can be a wonderful experience for your family and a great gift to the child in need. To know that you have giving a soft, safe place for a child to land, consistency, to show them love , understanding and to know that you have left a mark in a child’s life journey. There is a great need for good foster parents but not everyone is cut out for this. I’m not saying it isn't difficult and that the children will be grateful to you.

Foster care is providing care for children at risk (abuse, neglect, abandoned, etc.). Most of the children are removed by the state and need a safe place to stay. The time table the children... more