This week has been a crazy and stressful week for me and my entire family. My mother had a massive heart attack leaving her too weak to endure open heart surgery. After a few days of building her lungs up she underwent a five bypass surgery to her heart (four were successful and one was not). This long ordeal and stressful time has reminded me how important it is for a foster parent to somewhat prepare for these life happenings.

It is easier for foster parents to adjust to daily life with foster children becoming part of the family than when major happenings... more

This time of the year I always find myself thinking of the children that I have parented through foster care that have gone on to another placements or with family members. It does not matter if I only parented them for a short period of time or a long one. My family talks about different children time to time when something reminds us of them and we find ourselves traveling down memory lane.

These children were a part of my family for time and I truly care about what happens to them. Most of the foster children that have come into my home I have had the chance to... more

A favorite thing around our house when the weather turns cool, we drink hot chocolate together. The cool weather is here, time for the hot chocolate to come out and for a little relaxing at the end of the day. When the weather starts to turn cool, my children start asking, “Is it time for hot chocolate?” Every foster child that was been in our home and experienced a cup of hot chocolate love it. I love to watch a foster child’s face when she has not experienced hot chocolate before.

It is great to have everyone sit around in the evening talking about school, our plans... more

Why does it seem so odd to someone that single fathers can be great foster dads just as well as single mothers? There are men in this world that truly want to be fathers, even single ones, and make wonderful dads.

In Boston, Paul a single foster dad has become the dad to children that have fallen between the cracks and have been pushed away by other foster parents. He takes older children and only long term placements. He wants the children to have a sense of home and a place that they can return too.

He loads up his foster children and takes off for family summer adventures. (Yeah!!!) This... more

There will be a few people that have no idea about foster care and the children that it involves. You may have to overcome some of the stigma of the negative of foster children (violent, rude, mean, crazy, killers, etc.). There will be some that think they are like children in their own families. Spend some time talking and explaining about some things that they may see and hearing with your foster children. I can promise you that whoever you spend time with will share some experiences of foster care with you.

What others need to know about foster children and understand. These children did not ask to be born, have the parents they have or to endure the abuse they suffered. These... more

Continued....

You have to make your children still feel like they are your first priority. They will need some one- on- one time with each of their parents. You will need to still have family time. Allie had to even share her friends on occasions because a number if not all foster children do not know how to interact, make friends or be a friend, so they may need a child to show them or guide them by their actions. I did ask Allie if we had the choice to do foster care all over again with all you have lost and experienced, would you do it again? Her answer was,... more

Continued........

The foster child was not doing this to be mean. The more the child saw the more they wanted, which is a natural reaction. So, now we do this a little differently. Allie does still share some of her personal things, case by case on a one time basis. We explained to Allie, that if she has things that are really important to her, she should not share those items. After the child has been in our home for a period of time and has proven that they are trustworthy, then she can share more of her important things with them. Allie has lost a number of her belongings due... more

Continued........

One of the things we struggle with was with Allie. She felt that she needed to report everything that happened or what the foster child did. This can be a double edged sword. You do not want your child running to you about everything and you also do not want the foster child to see your child doing this. On the other hand you child will see and hear so much more than you. There will be things that you most definitely want your child to make you aware of. You will need to talk with you child about coming to talk with you in private. You will probably need to talk... more

There will be some major adjusting for your children as you start your family journey of foster care. Your children need to feel part of the process and part of the decision making. Your children are the ones that are really giving up and losing the most. They are giving up space of their home, sharing parents, family, time, finances and possessions. In reality they are giving up a lot of control to a child they know nothing about.

Now after saying all that, I do believe it can be a positive experience for your child or children. I will talk about our personal experience with this.

Our daughter, Allie, was seven years old when we started this process. We talked with... more

Continued.......

We fostered two brothers for over a year both were mentally retarded, one was PDD and one was autistic. This was not anything new to us because my husband and I have worked with special needs children. This was a major, major adjustment for others. Some just could not accept it, mainly I believe they did not how to act or to deal with the differences. We took a family vacation to the Texas Gulf and planned on placing the boys in respite. With more challenging kids, you have a very difficult time finding someone to keep them, which we did. The day before leaving for a week at the Gulf, we had nobody to keep the boys (respect does not always work out). So, we... more