This week has been a crazy and stressful week for me and my entire family. My mother had a massive heart attack leaving her too weak to endure open heart surgery. After a few days of building her lungs up she underwent a five bypass surgery to her heart (four were successful and one was not). This long ordeal and stressful time has reminded me how important it is for a foster parent to somewhat prepare for these life happenings.

It is easier for foster parents to adjust to daily life with foster children becoming part of the family than when major happenings... more

Stress of Foster Care on a Marriage

Stress of Foster Care on a Marriage - Reality

I have talked about the amount of stress that foster parents deal with on a daily basis, now I want to talk about how not to let the stress take over marriage. It is so easy to get caught up in all the stress and slowly it starts to affect your life, especially your marriage. I have also talked... more

You have to care for yourself so you are able to continue caring for everyone else. For us moms, placing ourselves before others can be a difficult thing for us to do. You do not have to do major things. You can start as simple as you feel comfortable with, just as long as you are doing something for yourself.

Deciding you will not take phone calls concerning foster care one day of the week. This includes doctors, caseworkers, CASA workers, therapists, etc. I have occasionally even sent phone calls from school to my voicemail. If there is an emergency they will leave... more

Stress of Foster Care on a Marriage

It is quite easy to find yourself overwhelmed and feeling like you are sinking all alone. The stress at times can make you seriously question is being a foster parent worth it. With dealing with a large amount of stress and at times your spouse may not seem to understand what a day for you is like. You are so tired emotionally and physically that you fall into bed at night. Slowly before you know it you and your spouse have started drifting apart due... more

The stress of foster care affects the entire family and can start to put a strain on your marriage before you know it. I am speaking from my experiences and other foster parents I know, while I do understand this does not reflect every foster parent.

As the foster mom, you handle most aspects of foster care which is an enormous responsibility. When the call comes in about a new foster placement you are the one that makes that decision. It is you that sits in an ARD or teacher conference telling you all of the problems with this foster child that you have already discussed numerous... more

Fighting Battles for Our Foster Children

During the appointment, I listened to a lecture from the doctor that was intended for the biological mother. After my thirty minute parenting lecture I then had to supply a written promise to the doctor that I would make sure this foster child would not miss any of his appointments and attend all surgery appointments while he was in my care. Then I had to get prior approve for the surgery from child welfare. A couple of weeks before his... more

One of the major things foster parents struggle with is the constant battle they are put in the position to fight. This alone affects every part of your lifetime, relationships, and your mental and physical health. This is another reason I find it so funny when people and especially biological parents say we are the ones that do not care.

This evening I am on my front porch enjoying the cool country air and oh so tired of the battles that are added to my daily life due to foster care. I have two little faces pressed up to the front glass door watching me. We battle with child... more

Feeling Sorry For or Having Empathy

It is our responsibility to teach these foster children to be productive and responsible members of society. By constantly making excuses and feeling sorry for these children gives them to feeling that the world owes them something. Yes, as abused foster children they are entitled to a safe home, food, security, love, expectance, be a child and to have parents that put them first. While most of these children have endured... more

Feeling sorry for and having empathy for foster children are two totally different things. Each one of these can have a lasting impact on foster children and teaches them a lot (not all good things). I do not think people really think about the outcome of their actions towards foster children.

First; feeling sorry for foster children:

It is easy for us to feel sorry for what these children have suffered through in their lives. In school teachers tend to feel sorry for the abused child and then starts looking the other way when she is falling... more

Since foster parents can be viewed as employees of the state does the public (including the biological parents) have the right to our names, address and other information? This has been some of the talk since the problems with the Ohio foster care system. Does this open a whole new can of worms so to speak?

Some foster parents have done horrible things to the foster children in their care and some have even died, which should not happen. I cannot see how making foster parent's information public would be able to stop tragedies in foster care.

The truth is... more