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Four times as many girls as boys self-harm up to age 16. A study conducted in 2002 found that one out of every 200 teen girls regularly self-harm themselves.

These children are dealing with pain that they feel that they are unable to deal with and by self-harming releases some of the pain. The pain never goes away, so they feel the need to self–harm when the pain feels overwhelming to them. These children feel like they are unable to express or verbalize the inner turmoil that they are feeling. These children are feeling... more

A child causing deliberate self-harm may be not what you thought of when you started your journey of being a foster parent. These are the behaviors that are easier for you as the parent to identify as self –harming such as head banging or banging other body parts against walls, pinching self, biting self, and pulling hair and even eyelashes. You can see these behaviors in any age child. I dealt with these behaviors with a foster child as young as a ten months old. These behaviors can be identified quickly for a foster parent and addressed. If you foster children nine years or older, you may find yourself facing more extreme behaviors. In the beginning you may not realize... more

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With the older child, I always kept a change of linens with a blanket in the closet, so they could have access during the night if they did not want to wake me up. They had to take their wet bedding off and place it into the washer. They learned that the next morning they needed to take a shower. With older children, they do not want the rest of the house to know that is going on, so trying to help them with this will so allow them to learn to trust you.

With my younger ones I always had clean linens with a blanket in their room, so I would not have to wake the rest of the house gathering stuff up. Most of the time, I did not know until the next morning.... more

This seems to be a common problem that foster parents deal with. It can affect any age child. All most every foster child I have had wet the bed at some point. It is not uncommon to even see older foster children facing this problem. I even had a 13 year old that wet the bed when he first came to us. With some of the children it can be an ongoing problem that they struggle with. There are others that it is short term. With these children after they get settled in your home and realize that they are safe, the bedwetting will just fade away. Remember it can easily return for a number of different reasons it could be that they start to remember more of the abuse they have suffered, could... more

Any age foster child can and will steal. Remember they have gone without having their needs met like food, drinks, clothing, hygiene, comfort, any and all needs. So, they learn to take what they need and then learn to take what they want. They do not make the choice to steal from others, it is survival for them. This is the only way that some children have lived their life. Sad to say but some children have witnessed their bio parents stealing or having the children steal for them. So unlike us, who teach our children right from wrong? These children learn that everything for them is “right” and they have the appearance of feeling entitled.

I had a two year old foster child... more

Struggling with your foster child who is cussing in your home and around your children. Most foster children that I have dealt with (even the young ones) have cussed. If they can talk they can cuss.. Remember how these children have been raised and what they have been around. Now having said that, if you cannot tolerant cussing under many circumstances, then foster care may not be for you. I am not saying you have to allow it in your home, but also the behavior will not go away over night. It will take time, consequences, structure, and patience on everyone’s part.

I can tolerate cussing from a child while working to get beyond it. I have a harder time dealing with a child calling... more