One of the rewards of foster parenting is when a birth parent thanks you; when you know that a birth parent really appreciates all you have done, and all you are doing, for his or her child. My five-year-old foster daughter’s mother looked me in the eyes and said, “I couldn’t do what you do. I don’t know how you can do it.” The name of a child we had fostered several years ago had come up and she had asked me about whom we were talking. I explained that it was a child we thought we were adopting. She had come into our family as a newborn and had stayed until she was 20 months... more

This is a question that seems to be asked a lot of myself and other foster parents that I know. There seems to be a lot of misinformation or information that is not entirely correct about foster care so I will address them one at time.

Foster parents can continue taking family vacations, long weekends, family reunions, etc. while you are foster parents. Does having foster children change these things, and how you spend your free time? Sure, you have two real options.

First one is you can choose to use respite care for your foster children. This may be the easier one in some ways but should not be your first choice. Placing your foster children in respite is not always what... more

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Not all children will react this way. You will have to find things that will work for your children. I had one foster daughter after visits, she wanted to sit and talk with me alone without the other children. She was the only one I had this way. She wanted love, nurturing, cuddling time after her visit.

I have learned to give the child time to their self without having them doing the typical child stuff homework, bath, chores, etc.. Allowing the child to come out when they are ready is what seemed to work. Let the teacher know what is going on, meaning that on Tuesdays, Johnny has visits with his bio family, this is very difficult for him. After his visit... more

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I started having my children including foster children in my bedroom playing games, watching a movie, etc. when it was time for her to get home. This would work for the most part, because children are not allowed in my bedroom without permission (what ever reason she followed that rule). Granted she was still hostile towards me, calling me names (I am a big girl and can handle it. It really bothered my other children to see her treat me this way and call me names.) I would let her vent at me, I didn’t respond much. She would ask, “Do you hear me?” I would respond, “I am sorry you are having a bad day. I will sit and listen to you if you stop screaming and calling me... more

This is a difficult area for everyone. I wrote another article about the bio visits. I do understand that there may be children that do not have problems with their bio visits but for the most part foster children really struggle with this.

Some child get tense, moody, agitated, etc. the day before the visit, the day or the visit and the will also have issues after the visits. You will be able to pick up fairly quickly what is going on with your foster children and try to things or ways to less the stress. I found out really quickly that things seem to escalate soon after a visit, and I found myself doing more restraints at this time. I learned that a child may need to vent after... more

At times you will feel that you have a revolving door at your home and you feel that there is a caseworker lurking around your house. This can be very difficult for your family but it is part of foster parenting. My huge problem is that when the CPS caseworker does visit the child it will be the last day of the month and they may give you a few hours notice. This for me is difficult, I never seem to be home for many long periods of time (with each additional child this is a little harder).

I had a CPS caseworker call me October 31 and wanted to do a visit that afternoon (this was the first time to deal with this particular caseworker). I did explain that it was Halloween, which meant... more