When visiting extended family with your foster children during the holidays, you need to do some extra preparing. If you have your own children that will be receiving gifts from family members take into account your foster children. You do not want your foster children sitting there watching your other children unwrapping presents. They have spent most of their life being ignored or left out. I do understand this can be a touchy situation with other family members. Understand they may not think of your foster children or have a tight budget. What ever the reason we should respect it. I tend to be open, okay maybe a little blunt with my family, so I just ask them. My husband’s family a tad... more

I don’t think you should change things about your holidays because of their experiences or lack of them. I believe they need to experience a family holiday, along with learning traditions. They need positive things to fall back on and to know how a family unit should spend the holiday. Some foster children will only be with us a short time, we have to show them a different life than they what have experienced. In the hopes, if they should return they know that there is a different life out there (besides drugs, sex, violence, etc.).

Understand that this is a very traumatic and difficult time for them. Allow them their feelings. Meaning, their feelings are real doesn’t mean they... more

The Christmas tree was in the living room, when the children came home from school. My 8 year old foster daughter was horrified seeing the Christmas tree sitting in the living room. She kept saying trees are suppose to be outside. We explained how we celebrate Christmas, it took some time. One of our family traditions is that everyone gets to choose an ornament for the Christmas tree every year. This does include my foster children, they choose two, one to take with them when they leave and one for us keep. The ornament we keep lets us remember them and then feel a little closer. This little girl didn’t get presents at Christmas and was clueless to the whole holiday. It was very heart... more

This is a very happy and wonderful time of year for you and your family. Cookies baking in the oven, children talking about what Santa will bring them. Family members visiting, presents to unwrap, and holiday parties to enjoy. This is a pretty typical family Christmas holiday. For foster child it is many things but not this.

They feel so out of place because they don’t have a clue what is going on. They feel depressed, lonely, sad, angry, etc. during the holidays. Christmas to them is just another day for them to endure their abuse and life. Allow them to talk about their feelings and their life at Christmas. It is hard to talk about their pain. I will share my foster children pains... more

When we get a placement, we leave it up to each child what they will call us. We introduce ourselves by using our first names. After that, it is up the child what to call us (I guess within reason-no foul language). Every child that has came through our home has called us Mom and Dad. Yes, I know people have very different opinions about this. When we first get a placement, and they choose to call us Mom and Dad, I always receive questions concerning this from friends, family, acquaintances and others. Ex: How does that make my children feel? Isn’t that confusing for the child? Is that unhealthy for the child? How is that child going to feel when they have to leave you? How does that... more

Foster care is hard and demanding experience. It is selfless, not a money making deal. At times, it can be misunderstood and others can be very unappreciative. People asking how much do you get paid for him or her. I have three children and a lot of people thinks that my children are put in harms way and that they are at a disadvantage (meaning loss of time, sharing home and belongings, expense, etc.) because of fostering. This is a decisions that I feel it’s right for my family. Yes, the concerns that others have may be realistic. Our 10 year old foster daughter flooded the bathroom while taking a shower and did not tell anyone. My daughter goes skipping into there to take a shower... more

What a huge and life changing decision.

Foster care can be a wonderful experience for your family and a great gift to the child in need. To know that you have giving a soft, safe place for a child to land, consistency, to show them love , understanding and to know that you have left a mark in a child’s life journey. There is a great need for good foster parents but not everyone is cut out for this. I’m not saying it isn't difficult and that the children will be grateful to you.

Foster care is providing care for children at risk (abuse, neglect, abandoned, etc.). Most of the children are removed by the state and need a safe place to stay. The time table the children... more