A foster family enduring the pain of their foster son who abused their daughter, and their journey through that pain.

It was a little over a week before Christmas and their daughter had been dealing with a sore throat from a cold for a couple of weeks. The daughter started to get sick and the next day the mother was also in bed sick with a bad sore throat. The doctor said it was probably just a virus.

A few days later, it was Christmas Eve, and still not feeling well, they wanted to go out to eat just as they do every year. Their daughter finished getting ready and was on the way to the bathroom to brush her teeth, when their foster son said he had to go to the restroom... more

The family struggled through this a couple more months, still with no real answer to what is going on with their foster son. Things were starting to spiral out of control. Their foster son spent most of the night awake talking, arguing, and fighting with the voices he heard. His talk with the voices in his head were becoming more violent, talking about that he did not want to hurt anybody, and even talking about killing. At this point the mother was not sleeping because she was worried about what might happen. The parents were screaming for someone to help them and their foster son before things went really bad. They finally found a psychiatrist that said he was schizophrenic and was... more

A foster family with an eight year old biological daughter decided to foster a thirteen year old boy. They knew the boy for a year prior to being placed in their home. He had been in foster care for the year and was up for adoption. It was the hope of the family to adopt this boy in time and were working towards that.

The placement did have issues since it was a therapeutic placement and he was a teenager. The family had their ups and downs, along the way of trying to make a home for this boy and blend him into their family. This young teen had some many unknown problems that he was facing and the entire family struggled with. Mental illness came into the picture, but none was... more

This is something that you may end up seeing a lot through out your time fostering. If you suspect that one of your foster children is abusing another foster child, biological children, pets or others, you need to step in, find out what is happening and deal with it quickly.

It is not uncommon to see young children initiating sexual acts towards another young child. They are acting out what has been done to them. They may not even realize it is wrong or that there is something wrong with this behavior. Most abused children have lived most of their lives in bad situations and abuse in most cases is all the children know. They do not know how to react when faced with disappointment,... more

When your foster child kicks a hole in your wall, writes on your new furniture or finds other ways to destroy your property, you are learning some serious patience. Every area of foster care will let you practice using your patience.

Your foster daughter uses a whole package of baby wipes cleaning the floor or uses a couple of dozen diapers on her baby dolls, changing them repeatedly. Deciding to look at the positive points instead of the negative is a life saver. The floor is now cleaner than before and your foster daughter is learning from you since she does know how to change a diaper after watching you change them several times daily. You will learn to laugh because if you do... more

When you work with foster children, you will learn that the traditional disciplining may not work for them, so you need to learn to be creative in this area. When a child has never played outside, had toys, watched cartoons or so many other things, then being grounded and not being able to do these things may not matter to him or her.

With some foster children, rewarding positive behavior can work, like being the one to choose the book I read to them, getting a special snack or drink, getting to go in the kitchen while I fix dinner and play, etc. For one of our foster daughters (nine years old), if she could get redirected without becoming hostile or at times aggressive, then she... more

When most children sexually act out most likely they are acting out what has been done to them. Adults may have told them this behavior is normal to do with adults or other children. Some children view it as a way to show they like you because that is what they have been told.

It is not uncommon to see younger children (three and under) acting sexually towards other children and even to adults. They think that is what adults want from them. This is a time that disciplining is not appropriate. We have to teach them right from wrong touching.

A child petting another child or an adult needs to be addressed, this is how their predator lead up to the sexual act itself. So,... more

Dealing with this disorder can be challenging and create some obstacles that a parent will have to learn to work around. Another part of this that a person may not think of, is when the child gets sick, he or she have may not tell you, or react as other children since he or she does not feel pain. When Beth has a sore throat, she will start touching her neck when it gets bad and real swollen, so this will cue me that she is sick. Sadly, these children that suffer from this probably do get sicker than other children before we realize they are sick. I also had a little boy that the only way I knew he had a sore throat was after he passed it on to someone else, he did not have any different... more

There are major problems with this disorder. One problem is that when a person does not feel pain, then he or she does not realize he or she is hurt, which can be a dangerous thing. The second problem is that this disorder can lead a person to have behaviors that are more risky than others because he or she does not have the fear of getting hurt. My doctor said that everyone should be made aware of a child that suffers from this disorder. Since he or she could take a big fall and break a bone or seriously hurt him or herself, continue playing and even cause more damage to his or herself. As a parent, this alone can be a scary thought to think about.

I have seen my children with... more

There are children that do not feel the pain when they fall down and scratch their knee, when they get a bump on the head, or if they pinch their finger. An eighteen month old baby girl would go to the doctor to get her routine shots and not flinch. She fell on the corner of a brick fireplace when she was learning to walk and busted her head open. She ended up needing stitches, the doctor pushed around on the gash to see if there was any bone fragment (pretty strange if you ask me) and she did not flinch, cry or move. This is my little girl that I adopted through foster care and she does suffer with this disorder.

I have also had another foster child with this disorder. It does... more