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I told the caseworker next time she needed a hair if she felt bio mother needed a say when I would arrange the haircut during her visit when she could handle the haircut. I never heard anything else about it.

I had another bio parent of a baby tell me a number a different things and brands (fun things how everything has the most expense brand) that this baby had to have. This was done right in front of the caseworker, which she did not respond. I stated, “That is strange she did not come with any of those things and even the diaper she was wearing was not... more

In some case bio families has some say over some things. How much depends on a few things.

Bio families can have a say in a child hair cut but not all do become involved in this. I have only had one bio mother get upset with about cutting her child’s hair. The child came in care with long thick hair that was matted and the worst case of lice my doctor had seen. Her lice could have been seen very easily, they were the size of large fleas (kid you not). I had treated her five times without eliminating them and in the process I had to treat myself and my other five children. My doctor said I could only treat her once more with chemicals and one of the problems she felt was the length... more

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I have had my fair share of weird caseworkers, ones that try to get involved in everything in your home, ones that we did not agree with on what was best for the child and for the large part we have pretty good caseworkers. I think it just boils down to the caseworker also do not know how to interact with every foster parent. Think about it, sadly not all foster parents have the child’s best interest at heart and want to get fully involved. So, in the beginning I think they are seeing what you are like. Their case over load can make things difficult for them.

I had a lot to learn dealing with caseworkers. My biggest problem was that I like to have control... more

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Several months later I was at a bio visit with the above caseworker and case aide, we started talking (since bio’s were late) and we ended up talking for two hours. The caseworker stated that it is a change working with a foster parent like me. I asked, “What do you mean?” He explained that with me he did not have to worry about the child. When I was asked to do something or take care of things, I did. He felt that I truly wanted what was best for the child. Then he said, “You are an easy foster parent, in a good way.”

After talking with them I realized that everyone gets involved in foster parenting to different degrees. I personally do what I normally... more

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The poor guy had the look of a deer in headlights, he started stammerring about how he did not know anything about babies. Him - I do not know what to do with her? Me - Hold her until they get here? Him - I do not know how to hold her. What if she starts crying or needs to be changed? Me - Holding her is the easy part. If she starts crying, walk with her or talk to her. I have just changed her and she will be fine until I get back. I take it your have had infant placements before? Him - I have worked with older children and feel more comfortable with the children in juvenile detention centers than this. Are you sure you cannot... more

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I had only one caseworker that I had major issues with, to the point what ever I said she seemed to feel or say the opposite. I foster care through a private agency, so I had my caseworker at that agency to deal with her. The caseworker would tell me something like there was a hold up with the child’s medicaid and then would say she did not know what I was talking about. To deal with this I started corresponding by email which was great because she then put things in writing. Then if things were questioned I would forward the emails to my caseworker at my agency. Granted this is not the best working relationship to help the child but in some cases it may not be... more

I had a question asked about the social workers or caseworkers being difficult or a pain in the keester. I do not believe they are any more difficult to deal with than school personnel, doctors, therapists, bio parents, and all the other people that will be involved with your foster children.

The funny thing about caseworkers for our family is that they seem to be everywhere. My oldest daughter’s friends mother is a caseworker and our Girl Scout troop leader is a caseworker. My friends asked, “Doesn’t it bother you to be surrounded by caseworkers with foster care and then in your family life? Doesn’t it feel like you are always being watched?” First, I am not doing anything to... more

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You as the foster parent will also have a wide range of feelings. How involved you are in the bio visits is up to you? I know some foster parents, that will drop off the children at the back door of the CPS office, because they do not want contact or to be seen by the bio family. In some case you may be asked if you would like to meet in a public place in between where you and the bio family lives. I have done this a lot, mostly at fast food places. To me it seem to not make the bio parents feel so anxious or defensive. Not all visit can be set up like this and they could be moved to a CPS office. These usually happens if or when CPS feels that there may be a problem... more

This will be mostly like be difficult for everyone involved.

Let’s start with the bio families. The parent or parents are anger because their children are with you. This can cause them to have very strong negative feelings toward you. You have to remember it is not personal and not to take it that way. Yes, I do understand how difficult this can be. Bio parents try and cause you a lot of problems, stated that you are the ones abusing their children, the only reason they have my child is because they can’t have children of their own, they may even tell your foster child negative things about you, etc.. It is possible over time to develop a good or least functioning relationship with... more