An 8 month old boy and his 1 year old sister have been placed in foster care in Richland Hills, Texas. These two children’s lives have changed due to their family’s involvement in drugs.

The two children were living with the grandmother and mother(she is expecting another baby any day) before being placed into foster care. The grandmother was caring for the 8 month old boy and while in her care, he “accidentally” ingested drugs. The mother returned home and noticed something was wrong with the boy and took him the emergency room, where he was later transferred to a local children’s hospital.

Lab results... more

This is for the children that do not have a voice. The ones that drugs were their beginning.

When you abused your body and mind, you also did it to me. While you created me, you were also destroying parts of me. As you carried me in your womb, you left me scarred and battered by your negative choices.

As you went on that high of “meth” time and time again, my tiny developing body was forced to go along. Each time you got “high” part of me was destroyed and not allowed to develop. The “meth” affected whatever was developing at the time of your “highs”; my brain, my organs, my nervous system.

As you received pleasure from your “high”, my little body was shaking,... more

Biological Parents Questions about Foster Care

I do not speak for all foster parents and I do know that there are a few bad apples out there. How you work with most foster parents is by making your concerns about your children not about your personal concerns. Foster parents for the most part are willing to work with the biological parents. Problems arise quickly when biological parents get defensive and angry with the care of the children or feelings towards the foster parents. Biological parents cannot have the attitude that the foster parents are providing a babysitting... more

I have received some questions concerning foster care from biological parents. Normally my blog is directed to foster parents. Biological parents that are trying to seek information on how to become better parents for their children in foster care need to be given a chance. I will try to answer questions that have been asked of me. Sugar coating things is not something I do. My approach is direct and honest.

A biological mother wants to be part of her child’s life in foster care and feels the foster parents are making it difficult for her. Foster parent’s busy daily life has become the life of her child and that it makes contact difficult for the biological mother. She... more

The entire foster care system including the caseworkers is struggling to deal with the problems that foster care is facing. I had my fair share of run-ins with caseworkers but I also realize they are also fighting the same system that I am just at a different level.

One caseworker has 60 children on her caseload to oversee. Caseworkers are stretched way too thin. Most of these children are not basic care. The monthly visits alone is too much for one person to deal with. The travel distance to see each foster child can be 1 to 2 hour drive for them. Just trying to keep up with the basic paperwork on these foster children must be overwhelming. Some spend two or more hours at home... more

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I personally have done pretty well with caseworkers when things get a little dicey with the bio parents. Most caseworkers know what is going on with the bio parents and they just let them vent without taking what they say seriously.

There will be things that you will have to let go of just to get along. Do not send things even clothing to visits that you will be upset if they do not return in it or with it. Diaper bags are a big thing with me. In the beginning I would send my personal nice diaper bag full of things (even for my other children). This was a big mistake on my part. I lost two nice diaper bags and endless supplies out of them.. So, now... more

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The things to remember you will be the one to raise above the finger pointing and etc.. Most bio parents that you will be dealing with will need to take parenting classes, anger management classes, so they do not necessarily know how to act appropriately or getting along with others can also be an issue. So, as hard as it is at time we have to ignore, look the other way and just try to make to work as has as possible for the sake of your foster children. At times you will have to hear someone insult you or say horrible things about you as a person and a mother. You may have to remind yourself that these people do not have the first idea how to be a productive member... more

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Sadly, bio parents can and have taken their anger out by calling to make allegations towards the foster parents. It usually depends on who makes the allegations too. If it is the caseworker, they may talk with you and document it but if the allegation is made to another worker or abuse hot line, then things can get a little sticky. This is when things can get very difficult for the foster family. There are many different directions this can go at this point. It could be as simple as an investigation in your home, cleared within a few days, and then it is possible that your foster children can be removed from your home until the investigation is closed. An investigation... more

Oh, where to start on this one. The truth being that you as the foster parent will not be bio family’s favorite person. In their eyes you have the child that they should have. To them it doesn’t matter why or how their child came into care. They just want their child back and they feel victimized by CPS, remember in their eyes you are part of the CPS system. If you do visits with your foster child, you will get to know the bio family. In the beginning it is very stressful for everyone, since everyone is on edge and not sure what to except. In time you may even develop a special working relationship with the bio parents of your foster child. On occasion, you may even develop... more

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Some bio parents are upset that their children are with you, so they take things out on you and may even try to make things more difficult for you. They want to have control over their children anyway they can, even if they were not involved before losing them to foster care.

Some caseworkers will get involved by allow the bio parents to tell foster parents what they can and cannot do, where other caseworkers will not get involved. I think some caseworkers feel it easier to give into what the bio parents want than looking at what is right.

The major... more