Foster parents that have been parenting the foster children while they have be in care in most cases will get the first option to adopt the children. In a lot of cases, the foster parents do not necessarily start fostering a child thinking that they will adopt, but as time goes on the child becomes a part of their family.

In foster care, some children just capture your heart from the beginning and we have to wait to see how things play out with the biological parents. When young foster children are placed into a foster family in most cases people get attached pretty quickly.

When we started our "foster to adopt" journey we were looking for school age children to adopt but... more

Why do foster parents continue fostering with a system so plagued with problems and on the verge of collapse? What makes you not give up?

I hear these questions asked of foster parents all the time. We all have different reasons for doing foster care and continuing it. I believe the biggest reason is the children. The system of foster care is struggling with so, so, many problems but we have to remember the children are in the core of the system.

People make statements that they could not work with a troubled system or that they are waiting for the system to get better. These children deserve more than being disregarded because the system they live in has serious problems.... more

This is something that I hear from time to time. I have even had people point blank ask me if I did it for the money. To me, this is very comical since it is the farthest thing from the truth. The truth is the majority of foster parents do not make money by providing foster care, they go into the negative.

In California the cost of raising a child today is $750 a month and the foster care payment is about $494 a month. Some states do not pay that much for foster care, some even pay around $250 or below. The reality is that the state and society is not fully supporting children in foster care and... more

I am writing about this because I am sick with the flu. It seems like the above question is very proper or at least I get asked it a lot. Personally I find this a very strange question. My foster children are my responsibility. I am not babysitting them, even through some case workers think that is all we are. I am providing for the child in home 24/7 with love, food, teaching on the list goes on, so I am that child¡¦s mother at the point in their life. With that said, the question should be who cares for your children, but I guess that would be a pretty silly question. I do what any other mother would do.

If am super sick like now (running 103-104 temp.), then my husband has... more

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I think we spend so much time looking for reasons or placing blame with the things we deal with in our lives. I do understand that adoption did have an effect on my life, but in a good way. Society does have a lot to learn about how to react and treat adopted children and even adults. Being adopted does add some different thoughts and maybe in some elements struggles or just facing the past for others.

I think about my birth family once in a while what are they like, how different am I from them, half siblings, what would they think of me or do they? Also the birth family reunion can lead to struggles for some. In my case, it was a little different... more

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Yes, adoption has caused the problems, but would the problems still be there if my half sister and I had been their bio children. I guess that could be anyone’s guess. I believe that C would have hated (these were her words, not mine) the baby no matter what. I felt while growing up that C hated me and didn’t want me around (even before I knew I was adopted), which is how she felt.

The other problem that KK and I have dealt with, is that my parents extended family didn’t understand adoption. They always treated us different than the other children in the family (not including us at family gatherings, at one point we were not on the entire family tree (then... more

I have been reading Jupe (Adoptee Blog) series on adopted children having, or not having issues. As an adoptee, I can totally understand what she is saying. I do understand that being adopted adds different elements and thoughts that others may not have. Everyone is shaped by their experiences, parenting, relationships, etc. that was happening in their life. It all is up to us how to deal with life. Yes, being adopting for me has included some difficult times. The real question is “Could I have still had some of the difficult times if I had been my parents biological child?” I believe that... more

Personally I can not even count how may times I have been asked this questions.

My family does foster care because it is our way to give back and we enjoy the children. You will occasionally get the child that does not mix with your family in any way. Which can make it very difficult, stressful and can be miserable at times. I do this because I was adopted and I wanted to help and give other children a chance at a life.

People choose to do foster care because they also enjoy working with and helping children. Some choose to do” foster to adopt”, which they do foster care and are open or looking to adopting. This opens the door to more possible adoption placements. ... more

Why does adopting foster children have to be viewed differently than other adoptions? Why does the possibility of adopting domestic children have the gloom of the bio parents kidnaping or wanting them back? Yes, I do understand that is a possibility but something I believe you can limit the chances of, and I truly believe can be dealt with. Yes, there may always be a small possibility of this happening. But are the children not worth the risk?

I would like to speak as a foster parent, and on behalf of my foster children. These children did not wake up one day and decide that they could not live with their parents any more. We all as a society have removed these children to protect... more

When we get a placement, we leave it up to each child what they will call us. We introduce ourselves by using our first names. After that, it is up the child what to call us (I guess within reason-no foul language). Every child that has came through our home has called us Mom and Dad. Yes, I know people have very different opinions about this. When we first get a placement, and they choose to call us Mom and Dad, I always receive questions concerning this from friends, family, acquaintances and others. Ex: How does that make my children feel? Isn’t that confusing for the child? Is that unhealthy for the child? How is that child going to feel when they have to leave you? How does that... more