Do you ever remember a child saying, “Too many people love me?” Have you ever heard an epitaph that read, “Too many people loved me during my life?” Did you ever hear, “I spent too much time with people I loved?” Of course not, what a wonderful thing it is to know there are people who love you and care about you. Knowing there is someone you can call in any crisis gives you a sense of inner security. Children in foster care usually live with broken attachments. In their world, people come and then go, never to be seen again. It must be confusing to hear... more

A comment on a previous entry said that a family should not consider fostering children until their biological children are raised. The commenter said that the welfare of the biological children is at stake by bringing foster children into the home. Most of the foster parents that I know have biological children at home as well. If no one with biological children at home would foster children, we would probably have to regress to keeping children in orphanages. Let’s face it; few older people or childless people are willing to open their homes to abused or neglected children.... more

Are you wondering if your foster child has ADHD? Perhaps your child frequently forgets to bring homework home. Does the homework and then forgets to take it back to school. Maybe your child never takes care of anything, or acts like a scatterbrain. Do you have to repeat directions numerous times before you child finishes a task? If your child was placed in your home recently for adoption all of the changes might just be overwhelming him or her. Your foster child might have ADHD or in a few months, when things settle down, your child may act much better.

If your... more

If you have been a foster parent for a few years then you may have noticed that there is a lot of turnover in foster care workers. I understand why, but it doesn’t make it any easier on the children, the foster parents, or the families. Foster care is an incredibly stressful job that really doesn’t pay all that well. I have seen help wanted advertisements for foster care workers, requiring a master’s degree, offering less money than a nurse or an accountant would make with an associate degree. What could possibly be more stressful than knowing a child’s... more

Once a child has entered the foster care system a review hearing must be held every 90 days. Information must be submitted to the court at these review hearings about the parents’ progress towards the reunification goals. The reunification goals are established at the beginning of the case, usually when a foster care worker is assigned to the case, after the adjudication hearing. I will cover reunification goals more thoroughly tomorrow in another blog. The child has goals established to achieve while in foster care, as well. The child’s progress towards those goals is reviewed... more

When a child is removed from his or her parental home a judge or magistrate must sign an order allowing it. A child protective service worker usually requests this order, although a police officer may also request it. Once the removal has been approved, the child can be placed temporarily in foster care, a group home, or juvenile facility. That order is temporary, however, and after it is signed, an adjudication hearing must take place within 72 hours. Typically, a foster care worker has not yet been assigned to the case. Therefore, the child protective service worker involved in the... more

One of the rewards of foster parenting is when a birth parent thanks you; when you know that a birth parent really appreciates all you have done, and all you are doing, for his or her child. My five-year-old foster daughter’s mother looked me in the eyes and said, “I couldn’t do what you do. I don’t know how you can do it.” The name of a child we had fostered several years ago had come up and she had asked me about whom we were talking. I explained that it was a child we thought we were adopting. She had come into our family as a newborn and had stayed until she was 20 months... more

Transitioning foster children back to their family home is a difficult process for everyone involved. Regardless of their ages, the children will act out if they have been in the foster home for more than a few weeks. The way they act out will depend on their maturity level. Younger children may start throwing temper tantrums and have difficulty sleeping at night that may include nightmares. If the child was recently potty trained, it could be undone by the transitioning process. All children tend to treat their foster parents with increasing disrespect, as their return... more

Most foster children struggle with school because of a lack of involvement by their parents which makes school very difficult. Foster children can come into care at 9 years old and have no idea how to read or know their phonic sounds. Foster children can also close down on you rather quickly when you try to work with them on educational needs.

I have found that they are more responsive when you can make it fun for them. This also can help them not feel so bad about being delayed or behind their peers or siblings.

A favorite learning game we do is like a guessing game. We play it with animals, movies, and cartoons but you can use anything. Someone thinks of an animal and... more

I have been in a whirlwind trying to deal with family crisis, sick children, my father was hospitalized and so much more. Then trying to deal with my foster care stuff on top of just the daily surviving right now seems to be a lot to deal with.

My foster care agency is needs a lot of paperwork right away. Sorry, I will put that on the list of care of for sick children and deal with family crisis (I do not think it is at the top:) or close to it).

Both of the caseworkers need their visit this week or next week, fine with me. They do not want the children to be sick for the visit. Sorry, I have already used up all my “Get Off Sick Cards”. I do understand that they do not... more