Foster Children Living Years in the System

I had a case of a baby that the biological parents were asked about family members at each visit, they responded there was not anyone, but after a year when the termination of parental rights went to court they start throwing names of cousins, sister, aunts, etc that could be an option for the baby. Funny thing is, I do not think these family members appeared overnight.

What made it okay for this baby... more

There is an article about a 12 year old foster boy that has spent nine years living in foster care trapped in the system with no hope for a forever home. After nine years in foster care he was placed into an adoptive placement with members of his birth family. Sadly the adoptive placement fell apart and the boy was returned to foster care.

This case brings up a lot of issues of how things could have been different in this case and how to keep other foster children... more

A 21 month old baby girl named, Hailey lay dying a slow horrible death in her on home while her mother and mom’s boyfriend were at the residence. Hailey spent 5 hours in what must have been horrible pain dying slowly. This baby girl, not even two years old lay foaming at the mouth, wheezing while fighting to breath. Her tiny body was fighting to live while her little arms and legs were twitching. This precious baby’s life was lost two days later when she was removed from life support.

Once... more

Six years ago, a young boy lost his mother in a car accident. The young boy found himself living with his paternal grandparents After suffering the loss of his mother, he then experienced years of abuse at the hands of his grandparents.

This family is not a stranger to child welfare. Child welfare has received at least nine referrals of abuse on this 12 year old boy. Some members of the community were aware of the boy’s abuse and witnessed patterns... more

Family Reunification Over What is Best For The Children?

A two year old toddler of a 17 year old mother was placed into foster care as an infant. The mother left the child to be cared for by a paternal grandmother. The grandmother would go out drinking leaving the baby in the care of other relatives. The baby went into another family placement briefly which also did not work out. After all of that, the infant was placed into foster care.

He was placed into... more

Family reunification has become a main focus for most if not all child welfare agencies. A lot of agencies have gotten tunnel-vision with this and it seems to be the only goal that a lot of people involved child welfare are even looking at for the children. Yes, children most definitely need family reunification when it is the best thing for them.

Let’s be honest and open about all of this. The overall picture of the family situation and the abuse that the children have suffered needs to be part of this decision.If the child welfare agency has dealt with... more

Foster Care: Empathy and Reality (continued)

So, it came to the point, I stop trying to involve them in what was happening in their daughter’s life. What was truly heartbreaking was that they did not ask about her accomplishments or happeings in her life.

I did still have empathy but I also realized that they had to want to change. People have to see the problems to change and the majority of biological parents do not see it. A lot of these parents are living and parenting the only way they know how. Given the opportunity to change for the sake of their children they do not. This... more

In a the blog “Who Pays the Price?” a question was brought up having empathy and understanding for the birth or biological parents that have children in foster care or lost them to the system. The reality of what these children have endured is a lot to deal with for them and the foster parents.

I think there is a difference in empathy for the birth parents and disliking them, than the reality of some foster children’s lives, abuse, lack of concern, abandonment, etc. I believe most foster parents have empathy for the biological parents even when these same people do not show their own children empathy. ... more

Biological mothers choosing to take drugs while pregnant have had a great impact on my family as both adoptive and foster. I am raising one “meth” adopted toddler and fostering a toddler girl that we are in the process of adopting. This week we were hit with the fact the doctors believe that she has some form of autism. Add that to her being a “meth” baby as the doctor stated that she is a high risk adoptive placement and will have some major issues as she gets older. This is not something any parent wants to hear.

I look back in my rear view mirror and see my two beautiful toddler daughters, feeling so overwhelmed with different emotions. I look in their faces knowing that the... more

Changing placement can have a great negative impact on a foster child. Changing placement when things get difficult with a foster child or challenging behaviors surface should not be the first option. This can affect every area of a foster child’s life and can have a lasting effect on the child. The progress that the child as made before the change of placement may be totally set back. It will be like he or she never made any progress.

With almost every change of placements, a foster child will fall six months farther behind in school. Most foster children are already behind or struggling in school when they are placed in foster care, so multiple... more