I was searching through some things the other day, in an attempt to find something new to write about, and I came across my Youth Communication catalog. Youth Communication was started 25 years ago as a writing program for teens. The executive director of the program is Keith Hefner. Mr. Hefner now runs workshops for after-school programs, schools, and foster care agencies to help teens with important issues in their lives and to help strengthen their reading skills.

They are based in New York City, and they have a wealth of information... more

In the news

There has been a lot of news lately about gays and gay rights, foster care reform and the Meth problem. Here are a few of the most recent stories…

In Kansas, there was a recent bill that outlawed gay marriage. There is also a debate as to whether or not gay and lesbian couples should be allowed to be foster and adoptive parents. I agree with the author that the children’s needs are secondary to that of the parents, but the heterosexual couples seem to be the ones that are abusing the kids.take... more

Transitions between activities are important too, so let the child know when the activity they are doing now is going to end, and another activity is about to start. That way, there are no surprises. And be very careful not to promise anything that you can’t deliver. It’s better to not plan something and then be able to go, than to plan to go somewhere and then have it not happen. Many children have been repeatedly promised things by their parents or other adults in their lives, and then the adults don’t follow through. This leads to the children thinking that all adults are like this, and they won’t trust anybody.

Once you get the structure in place in the home, you can move on to... more

In a recent post, Dr.G talked about finding the right child for your family. The adoption worker will tell you that they will only call you for children that match what you are looking for. But they will also tell you that they are trying to find a family for a child, not a child for a family. So, your needs may not be all that important. But they have to be, for the sake of you and the child. You need someone to hear your needs, like maybe a therapist.

We had therapy sessions before our daughter ever came to us, to prepare for having another person, and a child at that, in the home. We talked... more

In yesterday's post, I talked about older children in foster care, and I would like to continue with that theme now. Older children are harder to place for appropriate foster homes and adoptive homes. This is not because they are “bad” children, but because the majority of the population seems to not understand these children. You hear people say “I didn’t act like that when I was that age” or “What is wrong with these kids today?”.

“Expect me to do or say some really crazy things, just to see if you can handle it. How do I feel safe until I know that there’s nothing I can do to make you... more

In a recent post from someone (I read it and then it disappeared), there was talk about the misconception people have about adopted kids being serial killers. I haven’t personally heard about that, but I am not surprised. It seems a lot of people don’t understand others who are not like them in terms of religion, sexual orientation, interests, political affiliations, …etc.

While I don’t agree that adopted children turn out to be serial killers, it is true that foster children, and especially older foster children, do have some serious problems if they do not have a caring adult in their lives. Research shows that these children do not function effectively after leaving foster care,... more

"I AM METH"

No one really knows who wrote this poem, or where it came from, but it is very good.

Please keep praying for our Children, Teens, and Young adults. This thing is worse than any of us realize...

I destroy homes, I tear families apart, I take your children, and that's just the start.

I'm more costly than diamonds, more precious than gold, The sorrow I bring is a sight to behold.

If you need me, remember I'm easily found, I live all around you - in schools and in town

I live with the rich, I live with the poor, I live down the street, and maybe next door.

I'm made in a lab, but not like you think,... more

Recently, I have been talking about the dependency process. I have already covered reporting abuse and the removal of the child. Today, let's talk about how and when and why the initial petition is filed.

To review, CPS received a report of neglect and/or abuse, and investigated. They found out that the allegations in the report were valid, and that the children in the home were being abused by their parents.... more

Shar, in Learning to Love (Older Child Adoption blog), talks about sexually abused children, as does Dr. G, in Fragile. Please Touch (Adoptive Parenting blog), a complementary post. They are both talking about appropriate touch and teaching sexually abused children how to love again, in a safe environment.

Foster care, I think, is a whole different ball game. Children in care repeatedly say that what they want from the foster... more

In case you can't read the quote in the picture, it is:

When you get to the end of all the light that you know, and it's time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things will happen: Either you will be given something to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly. ~Edward Teller, Physicist

This applies to most people, but it doesn't seem to work for kids in foster care. They are not sure if there will be anything to stand on, and in fact what we provide for them is shaky at best. Some... more